This is a blog post that we actually wrote about 6 months ago, but never posted (we aren’t good bloggers, but if you are still reading, thank you). It’s something that has truly encompassed our time in Paraguay so far and something we look forward to experiencing and sharing in the future. More than ever, we need to be more creative and active in crossing the barriers of differences as opposed to widening the gap.
Intercambio or intercultural exchange:
Something that is a cornerstone of our service and incorporates 2 of the 3 parts of the Peace Corps mission – To help promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served and To help promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans – this is usually the first term that we use when speaking about our time in Paraguay. Intercultural exchange is a pretty loaded term. It covers pretty much everything we have done, and continue to do, during our time in Paraguay. We learn the two languages – Spanish and Guarani – and we teach others our language – English. We try new foods – mbeju, sopa Paraguaya, chipa and so much more – and we share new foods – tacos, different salads, veggie stir fry. We experience new places in Paraguay, and we talk about our home in the United States. And during all of this, we share our experiences back home with our friends and family, who now know a little more about Paraguay.
Hosting our first taco night 
Making chipa! 
Making Paraguayan totillas 
Tamara making pancakes
At one particular lunch, someone we were speaking with thoughtfully stated, “amor y comida cruzan idiomas,” or “love and food cross languages.” Simple, and full of truth.
Language is such an incredible and complex thing. A way to communicate, a way to express emotions, a way to connect. Yet, as we have been learning in our time here, it can be incredibly difficult when you feel as if you cannot properly use a language to express yourself, or to understand others. It’s staring at the other side of a rushing river with no bridge. You see the other side, and you know where you want to go, but there’s no way to cross. There were so many days when we have been at a loss for how to create deeper relationships, and learn more, with faltering language.
As this person stated so profoundly, food and love cross languages. All too often we focus on the differences we see between ourselves and others. Telling ourselves it’s too difficult to build that metaphorical bridge, and that it would be easier to just stay on our own side. It’s more comfortable, and we are after all, creatures of habit. It is much easier for us to hole up in our own little world of comfort, and not put in the work of getting to know another human’s world.
Loneliness is something that is not often talked about in our society (or Paraguayan society), yet it is a common, and at times, crippling feeling. We are so lucky to have each other in this Peace Corps experience, but we still acutely feel loneliness at different times. Loneliness because our families are so far away, or loneliness because we can’t call up a friend to meet up for a happy hour. Loneliness because we’ve missed weddings and births and other important events of loved ones, or loneliness because the Paraguayan landscape is still vastly unfamiliar to us. We feel this loneliness more when we focus on the differences in people or culture, and not on what helps us build bridges to leave our world of comfort.
But if we were to look at the values hidden among these differences, it paints a whole different story. How people eat may be different, but they do eat, and they have food that is special to them. That is something no matter where you are, one can relate to. No matter who or how you show your love, we all experience love – be it a close friend, family, significant other, or a pet. While these similar values may be hidden by words, traditions, and language that make them seem different, there is a connection that can be made – or a bridge to be built – no matter where you are. Something that can assuage that feeling of loneliness.
For us in Paraguay, it started on day one with food. As some of you may remember, we arrived on separate planes due to Hurricane Maria, and Alli arrived a day early. On this day while Dylan was traveling, Alli learned how to make the most traditional food in Paraguay, sopa paraguaya. Alli may not have understood 95% of what was being said, but through cooking she was able to learn and experience something that is so important to Paraguayan culture. Upon Dylan’s arrival and trying this new food, he may have only been able to smile nod with a thumbs up to show appreciation and that he liked it, but that was enough. And from there a familiar relationship was born. This first interaction, so crucial, was not completed through words, but through food, and the patience and caring that comes from love.
And this was only the beginning as we were welcomed into this family. We continued to eat new food and shared numerous meals. We experienced the love of a family that put aside differences and the discomfort of interacting with new people. From observing and knowing what foods we liked or didn’t like, to patiently teaching us words, to worrying if we didn’t come home as early as we normally would – this family showed their love even though we spoke about 2% of one of their two languages. Even as our Spanish language improved, we did not, and still do not, speak a lot of Guarani, which is the preferred language in that household. But language was not as important in those 3 first months and the visits that followed, because food and love crossed that barrier.
While this has been ever present following this first living experience, it continued to be evident in the visits of each of our parents, and friends – none of whom spoke more than a few words of Spanish, yet were able to meet people, create relationships and have lasting memories, through the language of food and love.
Upon arrival, and even today, there are moments when we feel like language is one of the largest barriers. Sometimes, it feels like it would be easier to just accept that it is hard to communicate and stay home with our cat and garden; and to be honest sometimes that is just what we do. Other times, it is an unexpected invitation to come over for dinner or a friend passing by our house, just to say hi, that reminds us about how special this place is, and how lucky we are to be surrounded by people willing to cross their own bridge to include us, even if it is hard. We are the different ones here, the ones who don’t understand everything that is said or every joke that is made, and the ones that sometimes still make cultural gaffes. But still, we are included. And that has made all the difference.
We are forever thankful for the meals that we have and will continue to share, and for the love that we have and will continue to experience here in Paraguay. From the beginning of our service to today, these acts have crossed the seemingly daunting barrier that language created for us. It has made the loneliness of living in a new culture, far from home… less. But it has also taught us such an important lesson: In the end it doesn’t matter where you are from, what race you are, what religion, gender or sexual orientation you are, and it sure as hell doesn’t matter what language you speak – through small acts of kindness and love, along with some tasty snacks, we can all build bridges of meaningful connection.
Elizabeth and Stacey trying mbeju and reviro! 
Ben learning to make reviro 
All of the asados!